Happy Monday Bachelorette Bracket!
Also happy December – we are so incredibly close to the end of the year (thank god) and in the same spirit getting much closer to the end of our season (which is rumored to end December 22nd). While it feels like this season has been on forever, we are shockingly close to finding a winner on this round-robin dating tournament and will be moving on to Matt even sooner.
In terms of roses, we only had two given out because this season we are apparently going to have fourteen times more episodes than actual rose ceremonies. But Zac and Ben received roses, cementing my belief that only people who don’t really understand how shilling on Instagram works will go far in this show in a shocking twist. Clare running off with Dale? A second Bachelorette? Not nearly as surprising as a cast full of people who have no idea what the point of this show is.
Tayshia also had a 1on1 date with Eazy, but despite the fact that I was highly entertained by these two screaming bloody murder and running away at a haunted house that was significantly less scary than the average CNN headline, he was sent home. Turns out professing your love for someone on a first date isn’t the move, who knew?
In terms of specialty questions, this week we got:
How many contestants will Tayshia kiss during this episode?
Answer: 5-6. Can you blame her? Think of all the true ~artistes~ she is forming connections with.
How many minutes into the episode will Chris Harrison first appear on screen?
Answer: 0-5, he needed to introduce the wonderful JoJo (my first Bachelorette season!) to replace him. He definitely threw her name out there in the desperate hope they didn’t bring Wells in and push him into an early retirement.
Will Noah or Bennett be sent home this week?
Answer: Neither (gotta love a cliffhanger)
Will Chris Harrison knock when entering into the boys’ house?
Answer: No. He has to take good ol’ Joshua, the true star of the GOAT episodes this summer, to college so he has bigger issues than pretending he isn’t the organizer of this twisted psychological torture experiment we call The Bachelorette.
Again, make sure to fill out your Bachelorette Bracket ahead of Tuesday night! We will finally see which of our “totally not at all privileged” contestants will be sent home (and maybe get a rose ceremony? maybe? please?)
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